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Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Are you hearing me or listening to me??? What??


Listening describes an intentional activity. When you are listening, you are actively trying to hear something.
In contrast, hearing is something that happens without any intentional effort. You can hear something even when you don't want to hear it and don't try to hear it.
Hearing a function of the physical and listening a function of the mind.

Many a time, we hear but dont listen.  We hear sounds being emitted from someone's mouth and we think we know what they are saying, but we really listened to what the other person said, why was there a miscommunication?  Why did we misunderstand?
Or did we misunderstand? and we are reacting because we really listened and didnt like what we heard. The utterer of the words, just assumed that as usual no one really pays attention, and relieved himself of his feelings, hoping to cause an effect to the listener.
Have I managed to confuse you?

I didnt mean to cause confusion, just to get you to listen ;-)
Have you noticed that many a time, people response to each in non coherent ways - to find examples, check out social networks on the internet.  It may be to do with the fact that many different races, speakers are all trying to communicate to each other in one language medium; and some people dont have a good grasp of that language.  It can be quite amusing to see what people are saying to each other and how they response to each other. On many occassions I had to laugh to myself, it was that funny.  What is remarkable however, is the patience and forgiving nature of the co-respondent.  People make allowances for each other and politely respond, even if they are confused by the less able speaker.  
People are wonderful on the whole and very generous dont you think.

However, there are instances, when emotion gets in the way and then listening takes a different path.  When we are emotionally wound up about something and we discuss it with someone, we usually dont hear their words, let alone listen properly.  We usually are governed by our own feelings and we only hear what we want to hear.  During such times, we do not listen.  It is a shame, for thats' how create more hurt for ourselves and for others.

On the other hand, why is it that we sometimes, chose to listen to negativity.  Are we masochistic in a small way?  When the biatch or ape said that we look fat, why did we chose to listen, when it was obviously malicious. Why did we hurt?  Or correctly, why did we allow such vile words hurt us? Perhaps they had touched a weak spot.  And we all certainly have that weak spot dont we.
But we mustnt let words injure our soul ... they are only words, utterances of different pitch and tone, coming out of another human.  That's all.

The human is a wonderous being, with weaknesses and strengths, lets build on our strengths and not let our weakness rule.
Do Be aware of what the utterer is saying ...  they may just be malicious or they may an ulterior motive but dont misconstrue the words of the well intentioned souls who mean you no harm.  Listen carefully, dont just hear, with listening, you may learn to differentiate the good and well meaning from the harmful and nasty.

The choice to listen is always ours, no one else's.  Listening is a strength, use it wisely, but use it.


Another time, we will talk about choice of words, if you want to read it that is ;-)


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

How do you know when he loves you

Everyone woman I know on this planet wants to know this.
Let me be your guru, and show you how to read the signs.

1.  When you're ill >  he brings you to the doctor or goes gets you medicine from the pharmacist, or the traditional chinese medicine practitioner, or the bomoh, or the witch doctor - risking suspicious looks from the practitioner when he asks for something for period pains.

2.  When you're feeling low >  he listens to you moaning and behaving like a spoilt brat then goes out and buys you a chocolate bar and a smoothie shake because it's your favourite thing. Never mind, if you fancied a muffin with double cream latte, accept that he was at least thinking of you and wanted to please you.

3.  When you just want to go out without him >  he gives you and your bffs a lift and picks all of you at the end of the night... marry him if he waits in the carpark all night

4.  When he lets you have lie in all day, keeps the curtains shut, and switches off the phone and then asks if you're rested when you finally get up at noon... > no, he didnt know you had an appointment in the morning, he really was wanting you to rest.  Forgive him ... he is only a man.

5.  When you're stressed out at work, and confide him about your clients, he listens intently all the while.  But then when he meets your client, he gives him/her a dirty look and is almost rude to them.  Never mind that, he is only acting in your interest.  Who asked you to tell him so much.

6.  When its your non-birthday, he takes you out somewhere special for no reason, except to be with you.  Never mind, that he did not warn you and now you have to cancel your appointment with your friend to  go to that concert that you'd been telling him about for the last 6 months. He means well.

7.  He calls you every hour on the hour - to see if you're ok -  he really does want to know if you're ok. ... Yes, its obsessive but isnt it better than a guy who doesnt call you at all.

8.  He sends you hugs and kisses on FB all the time and makes remarks on your status, even though he's just sat next to you.... everyone go:  aaahhhhhhhh

9.  When you dont have any make up on, he still looks at you lovingly and says that you're gorgeous... and you thought he was mad.

10.  When you argue, and you're in the wrong, and he still comes back and hugs you anyway.  He's just made you queen ;-) appreciate that he loves you girl

11.  When he sits through a chic flick, which he absolutely abhors, but he's happy to do so because it means he can share it with you.  Yup yup, he's in love ;-)

12.  When after many years of marriage or dating, he still goes shopping with you, even though he hates shopping... thank your lucky stars

13.  When you're older with skin not so supple, and hair not so lush, and he is still proud to hold your hand in public; hey, he really really does love you

14.  When you're making a donkey of yourself at a party, because you've had one too many vodkas, he still thinks you're funny, laughs at your jokes and then takes you home.  That's husband material, dont let go ;-)

15.  When you gain afew pounds, about 2 sizes bigger, and he makes an out of the blue comment like, you look good from the back you know ....   he's here for life ;-)

16.  When you should be exercising but feel lazy and he comes back with a comment like: "are you ill babe? or you just dont feel motivated?"  .... he's a lover honey

17.  When you go out on your own with your girlies, and dont back till 3am, all tipsy and lovely, he still wants to make love to you ... then mama, why not ... you know he's besotted, even if you smell of cigarettes and whiskey.

18.  When you spent all your salary on that designer bag and now dont have a penny even to take you to work, yet he still gives you money to tide you over till the end of the month and doesnt ask you for it back ... oh ya , that's one good man and yes, if you didnt know, that does show he cares.

19.  If he puts up with your family, cultural differences and even your senile aunt and crazy mates, and doesnt complain ... come on then what do you think? Elementary conclusion here ladies

20.  Finally, if he tells you that he would like to watch his favourite sport on telly over the weekend, he's really asking for permission and your blessing...  girl he isnt taking you for granted ... get it... now go get him.


Now, arent the signs that he loves you obvious.  See, its easy ;-) You know he loves you, what are you going to do about it ;-)