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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Moe Alkaff - Funny Hats Commercial I think ;-) LOL

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Singapore's Fun Pack Song - we need to sing for a goodie bag

While you’re all fussing about a silly Fun Pack song, COE prices are going up, under your nose, and is reported on xinmsn news too – look near the bottom of other news listings….  Wakey wakey people ….

Just for a bit of fun, here are the lyrics to the Fun Pack Song.  Feel free to re-write the lyrics.  Lets see if you can do better than the lyricist himself.
I have tagged another blogger, below, who’s write up I thought was really good, please see it below too. 
Yes, I’m being lazy but the fact is that so many people have blogged and commented that I really don’t need to say much.  I leave you to read, decide and let me have your input.
Personally, I am just not surprised by this at all.  Our Singapore songs have always been on the naff side and an insult to our intelligence, so need I say more.

"The Fun Pack Song (sung to the tune of Bad Romance)
Oh o o o o o o o o 
Time for the fun pack song 
Oh o o o o o o o o 
We like the fun pack song
Let's start with the bag 
That's right, grab your bag 
It's the fun pack bag 
Attack the fun pack
Hold up your flag, don't you forget 
You can wave it if you feel like it 
Let's wave the flag 
Wave wave wave 
Let's wave the flag 
Take out your light stick, it's two of a kind 
It's interactive, means you can join 
Just pretend 
Oh oh oh... It's a disco
You know that I want you 
And you know that I need you 
I want a wet, wet tissue
I want Newater and I want a cold drink 
You and me, let's share a bit 
I want a biscuit and I want a sweet 
You and me, let's share this treat
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o 
Time for the fun pack song 
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o 
We like the fun pack song
Let's start with the bag 
That's right, grab your bag 
It's the fun pack bag 
Attack the fun pack
I want Newater and I want a cold drink 
You and me, let's share a bit 
I want a biscuit and I want a sweet 
You and me, let's share this treat
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o 
Time for the fun pack song 
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o 
We like the fun pack song
Let's start with the bag 
That's right, grab your bag 
It's the fun pack bag 
Attack the fun pack!"

Read the Report on xinmsn news :

Comments from Blogger Anonymous X
Labels: event, news, song, youtube
Haresh Sharma. Yes, you must be wondering what kind of person he is. He must be a man without fear. Just awe at the audacity of 'modifying' Lady Gaga song, Bad Romance to suit the National Day Parade celebration this year with the monstrous piece called, "Fun Pack Song". 

National Library Singapore has this info on Haresh Sharma:
Haresh Sharma is the Resident Playwright of The Necessary Stage, Singapore. A critically-acclaimed playwright, he has written more than 40 short and full-length plays that have been staged in Singapore as well as abroad like Berlin, Birmingham, and London. He is the winner of the Singapore Literature Prize in 1993 for Still Building. In 1997, he was conferred the Young Artist Award by the National Arts Council for his literary contribution.

Career as a full-time writer
Upon graduation from NUS in 1990, Sharma began his tenure as Resident Playwright of TNS, a position he still holds till today. He was also the first full-time staff of the theatre company. On average, he writes three to four plays a year for TNS' main season of plays. This is excluding plays he writes for TNS' youth festivals and school programmes.

Sharma's plays have been critically acclaimed. In 1993, he was conferred the Singapore Literature Prize (Merit) for his play, Still Building. The published collection of the same title also won him a National Book Development Council of Singapore (NBDCS) Book Prize (Commendation) in 1996. Still Building was chosen to represent Singapore at the 1992 Cairo International Festival of Experimental Theatre and in Glasgow, Scotland for Mayfest 1994. It was also staged in London's Albany Theatre that year.

Sharma has been presented fellowships and grants by the British Council, the United States Information Service and Asia-Europe Foundation. In 1994, he won a Shell/National Arts Council Scholarship to pursue Master of Arts (Playwriting) at the University of Birmingham. Returning in Singapore in 1995, he continued his residency at TNS. Sharma received the NAC Young Artist Award for theatre in 1997.

Sharma also plays an active role in sharing his playwriting experience and talents with young artists. He has written plays for school assemblies, participated in mentor schemes, run theatre workshops and tutors in the Theatre Studies Department at the National University of Singapore. He has received commissions to write plays. For instance, the Ministry of Health commissioned the play Off Centre, a play he wrote about mental illness, and Revelations was commissioned by the NAC. In addition, his plays have been studied locally and internationally, for instance at McMaster University, Ontario, Canada. In 2006, in an effort to introduce more local literature into the GCE O-level literature syllabus, the Ministry of Education selected Off Centre as an O-level literature text - the first Singaporean play to become an O-level text.

Apart from writing, Sharma is also an adjunct tutor for the Theatre Studies course at the National University of Singapore.

Impressive, really! Which even makes it incredible how he allowed the Fun Pack Song to be part of the parade, yes?

Introducing the daredevil, Haresh Sharma (the clip is of that from last year Singapore Arts Festival):

Oh,  PS,  There is one consolation, the official NDP song is a little more decent and bearable, check it out at the official NDP site :

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

One of those days

My eyes were wide open, as I sat opposite my client, body erect and stiff.  I looked like I was listening intently, which pleased my client no end.  I always aim to make an impression. Pay attention, its the best way to show your respect to your client.

Bless her, she talked some more, and more, and more ... and patiently, I sat.   I nodded accommodatingly, and smiled appropriately, my timing impeccable.
Every so often, I would add a little "yes" followed by a jerky nod.  My body facing her and my eyes focussed on her forehead.  Yes, yes, so appropriate.  I can be good at body language.  My back was stiff from being so straight and arched. My feet neatly and elegantly crossed at the ankles.
Perhaps pressed together a little too tightly.

My lovely client pressed on, telling me in detail what her company requirements are and how we have to follow their schedule.  And so I keep nodding, smiling and saying the right thing periodically "of course", "we do our best".   Rehearsed words that people who deal with people use daily, with affirmation and conviction.  It is our job to be convincing.

Its been an agonising 45 mins now and the conversation, has taken a different trail.  She's now talking about her children.  How did we get there... I dont know myself, the conversation just got naturally deviated, and that's ok too.  In any other circumstance, I would not have minded at all, but not today. My eyes were really wide by this time, and she told me that I had really big eyes, I smiled weakly at her and thanked her ...

Eventually, after 57 1/2 minutes, we said our goodbyes, with me promising something and her promising another.
Calmly, and in a professional manner I walked out of the office, one assured purposeful step at a time.  By now, I am immensely worried that I might not get a taxi quickly.

As I got out of the lift, I walked with the biggest longest strides, even a professional 6ft tall long distance walker would not have been able to beat me, to the taxi stand.  Suddenly, I became quite holy as I saw a taxi waiting in the rank ..."Thank you God!! I believe!!!" heaving a sigh .

Then the taxi driver started to ramble, oh lord (getting holy again),  this time however, I didnt need to pay attention, well, couldnt actually, my mind wandered and I began to sweat.   The air conditioning in the taxi was on, but I was sweating, I guess that's a good thing considering...
We were 5 minutes away from home, and I already had my money ready for the driver, and paid him even before he managed to stop.  Nearly threw the money at him as I hurried out of his taxi, poor guy.   I shouted back "keep the change".  He must have thought I was a nutter, there was only 10 cents change....

I ran up the stairs faster than the HULK with his hair on fire, and hurled myself down on the toilet in one fleeting move ...  just in time, phew ... have you ever held your urge to pee for over an hour???
Its not funny ... now I have to figure out what my meeting was all about ... as you may well have guessed, I wasnt paying attention.... sigh...

Are you hearing me or listening to me??? What??

Listening describes an intentional activity. When you are listening, you are actively trying to hear something.
In contrast, hearing is something that happens without any intentional effort. You can hear something even when you don't want to hear it and don't try to hear it.
Hearing a function of the physical and listening a function of the mind.

Many a time, we hear but dont listen.  We hear sounds being emitted from someone's mouth and we think we know what they are saying, but we really listened to what the other person said, why was there a miscommunication?  Why did we misunderstand?
Or did we misunderstand? and we are reacting because we really listened and didnt like what we heard. The utterer of the words, just assumed that as usual no one really pays attention, and relieved himself of his feelings, hoping to cause an effect to the listener.
Have I managed to confuse you?

I didnt mean to cause confusion, just to get you to listen ;-)
Have you noticed that many a time, people response to each in non coherent ways - to find examples, check out social networks on the internet.  It may be to do with the fact that many different races, speakers are all trying to communicate to each other in one language medium; and some people dont have a good grasp of that language.  It can be quite amusing to see what people are saying to each other and how they response to each other. On many occassions I had to laugh to myself, it was that funny.  What is remarkable however, is the patience and forgiving nature of the co-respondent.  People make allowances for each other and politely respond, even if they are confused by the less able speaker.  
People are wonderful on the whole and very generous dont you think.

However, there are instances, when emotion gets in the way and then listening takes a different path.  When we are emotionally wound up about something and we discuss it with someone, we usually dont hear their words, let alone listen properly.  We usually are governed by our own feelings and we only hear what we want to hear.  During such times, we do not listen.  It is a shame, for thats' how create more hurt for ourselves and for others.

On the other hand, why is it that we sometimes, chose to listen to negativity.  Are we masochistic in a small way?  When the biatch or ape said that we look fat, why did we chose to listen, when it was obviously malicious. Why did we hurt?  Or correctly, why did we allow such vile words hurt us? Perhaps they had touched a weak spot.  And we all certainly have that weak spot dont we.
But we mustnt let words injure our soul ... they are only words, utterances of different pitch and tone, coming out of another human.  That's all.

The human is a wonderous being, with weaknesses and strengths, lets build on our strengths and not let our weakness rule.
Do Be aware of what the utterer is saying ...  they may just be malicious or they may an ulterior motive but dont misconstrue the words of the well intentioned souls who mean you no harm.  Listen carefully, dont just hear, with listening, you may learn to differentiate the good and well meaning from the harmful and nasty.

The choice to listen is always ours, no one else's.  Listening is a strength, use it wisely, but use it.

Another time, we will talk about choice of words, if you want to read it that is ;-)

How to know when your man is not in love with you

Some gals just dont know when its time to dump the man or maybe they're afraid to be on their own.  Whatever, here are some signs to help you decide if he's the right man for you or not.
Bear in mind, that I am not a glutton for punishment and that I am lazy and appreciate a man who appreciates me.  Also that I am bossy when it comes to men... its in my genes, and I cant help that.
Thus, this is a personal opinion, and you should take it as such.

1.  When he takes you out on a date, and brings his guy friends with him too. So the night ends up with total guy talk and rude insinuations, and lots of gutter language, while you sit around in a corner, smiling like the sweet muppet that you are.... dump the man!

2.  When he calls you once a month and thinks that's too obsessive.... errrr.... really and you think that's ok ... girl you need help.

3.  When he sends you dirty jokes and thinks you'll appreciate them....   are you one of the guys??

4.  When he thinks, you should work for a living, never mind, that you want to work anyway; its the fact that he insists that you work that's wrong.

5.  When he thinks that a woman's place is in the home - 24/7/365 - errr.... doing what at home exactly???

6.  When he praisses you everytime you cook but doesnt bother to help with the washing up.  Worse still is when he doesnt praise your cooking but expects you to do the cooking on a daily basis....  that's my pet hate!!

7.  When he thinks maids are a waste of money and that you both can do without one and then lets you do all the cooking, washing, cleaning ... etc... girl, you have just been demoted to maid!!

8.  When he likes going dutch because he says that he likes women to feel independent ... so you are going out with him why?????

9.  When he tells you to go out to buy more make up and perfume!  Errrr.... confusing message that one ... is he trying to tell you that you look better with make up or that you're ugly without make up???  And what's that with the perfume, most men, buy you perfume as a gift (though they cant choose the right one), it spells danger if he asks you to go out and get your own - check your b/o please ... talk to a bff ok

10.  When he has to go out every weekend clubbing because he says he has to network but wont take you with him ...  girl, what do you think he's up to ?

11.  When he takes alot of photos of himself and hardly any of you...  methinks he's in love with himself

12.  When he buys things for himself and never buys you anything, no even a telephone top up card ... gosh he really has you  on his mind huh...

13.  When he goes on holidays on his own or with friends and hardly ever goes with you, except when you moan and scream at him, and then it takes him months to find a cheap enough holiday package ... mmmmmmm

14.  When you cant remember the last time he bought you a little something for no reason what so ever ...  keep thinking ... when??

15.  When a man is afraid of his mom or loves his mom too much ...  hello lady, you will be the third lamp post ... get out quick

16.  When on a date together, you're both too busy texting on your handphones to other people, and havent said much to each in the last hour...  and you thought that was sharing ... I think that spells : N O T H I N G I N C O M M O N

17.  When holding hands in public is "embarrassing" ...  ok mama, take your hand outta that relationship and find a guy who truly is proud to be seen with you.

18.  When you suggest going for a stroll, he starts to moan and says he'd rather go out to the kopitiam or the pub and that you should join him ...  message here is: he does not want alone time with you.

19.  When you talk about marriage, he says he's too young, you're too young, he wants to have enough money first, he needs job security, he's not ready, children scare him, he likes being a bachelor, his mama says he's not ready, his friends think he's not ready ... the list goes on and on and on ... stop pestering the man and go out in the market and find another fish will you then see if he can handle that ;-)

20.  When he talks about marriage, you have panic attacks and start to perspire; you cant imagine being old with him,  you wonder if you're missing out on life, you want to change the subject,  you cant imagine having his children,  you think that he would be domineering and you would lose control of your life ... ahhhhaaa,  you have doubts too ... then dont rush in to marriage, just play a wait and see game with him. If he waits then he's not so bad but if he cant then arent you better off anyway.  ;-)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

How do you know when he loves you

Everyone woman I know on this planet wants to know this.
Let me be your guru, and show you how to read the signs.

1.  When you're ill >  he brings you to the doctor or goes gets you medicine from the pharmacist, or the traditional chinese medicine practitioner, or the bomoh, or the witch doctor - risking suspicious looks from the practitioner when he asks for something for period pains.

2.  When you're feeling low >  he listens to you moaning and behaving like a spoilt brat then goes out and buys you a chocolate bar and a smoothie shake because it's your favourite thing. Never mind, if you fancied a muffin with double cream latte, accept that he was at least thinking of you and wanted to please you.

3.  When you just want to go out without him >  he gives you and your bffs a lift and picks all of you at the end of the night... marry him if he waits in the carpark all night

4.  When he lets you have lie in all day, keeps the curtains shut, and switches off the phone and then asks if you're rested when you finally get up at noon... > no, he didnt know you had an appointment in the morning, he really was wanting you to rest.  Forgive him ... he is only a man.

5.  When you're stressed out at work, and confide him about your clients, he listens intently all the while.  But then when he meets your client, he gives him/her a dirty look and is almost rude to them.  Never mind that, he is only acting in your interest.  Who asked you to tell him so much.

6.  When its your non-birthday, he takes you out somewhere special for no reason, except to be with you.  Never mind, that he did not warn you and now you have to cancel your appointment with your friend to  go to that concert that you'd been telling him about for the last 6 months. He means well.

7.  He calls you every hour on the hour - to see if you're ok -  he really does want to know if you're ok. ... Yes, its obsessive but isnt it better than a guy who doesnt call you at all.

8.  He sends you hugs and kisses on FB all the time and makes remarks on your status, even though he's just sat next to you.... everyone go:  aaahhhhhhhh

9.  When you dont have any make up on, he still looks at you lovingly and says that you're gorgeous... and you thought he was mad.

10.  When you argue, and you're in the wrong, and he still comes back and hugs you anyway.  He's just made you queen ;-) appreciate that he loves you girl

11.  When he sits through a chic flick, which he absolutely abhors, but he's happy to do so because it means he can share it with you.  Yup yup, he's in love ;-)

12.  When after many years of marriage or dating, he still goes shopping with you, even though he hates shopping... thank your lucky stars

13.  When you're older with skin not so supple, and hair not so lush, and he is still proud to hold your hand in public; hey, he really really does love you

14.  When you're making a donkey of yourself at a party, because you've had one too many vodkas, he still thinks you're funny, laughs at your jokes and then takes you home.  That's husband material, dont let go ;-)

15.  When you gain afew pounds, about 2 sizes bigger, and he makes an out of the blue comment like, you look good from the back you know ....   he's here for life ;-)

16.  When you should be exercising but feel lazy and he comes back with a comment like: "are you ill babe? or you just dont feel motivated?"  .... he's a lover honey

17.  When you go out on your own with your girlies, and dont back till 3am, all tipsy and lovely, he still wants to make love to you ... then mama, why not ... you know he's besotted, even if you smell of cigarettes and whiskey.

18.  When you spent all your salary on that designer bag and now dont have a penny even to take you to work, yet he still gives you money to tide you over till the end of the month and doesnt ask you for it back ... oh ya , that's one good man and yes, if you didnt know, that does show he cares.

19.  If he puts up with your family, cultural differences and even your senile aunt and crazy mates, and doesnt complain ... come on then what do you think? Elementary conclusion here ladies

20.  Finally, if he tells you that he would like to watch his favourite sport on telly over the weekend, he's really asking for permission and your blessing...  girl he isnt taking you for granted ... get it... now go get him.

Now, arent the signs that he loves you obvious.  See, its easy ;-) You know he loves you, what are you going to do about it ;-)


All that you want in life is the simple pleasures but to get that buddy, you will simply need to succumb to pressure.  You know the usual sayings, nothing comes easy, life is hard, hard work pays off, etc... etc... All these are enough to put you off for sure.  Why cant things be a little tedious?, less stressful, less ominous? why ?  oh why?
 - Because the sky's so high and you may not get married in July
 - Because life's like that
 - Because Matrix does not exist and you're stuck in this rut
 - Because no one knows the real answer
 - Because that's why!!

Sometimes, you lay back and think... I want to be a millionaire ... why?
 - Because you want Manolos, Jimmy Choos, and Versacci
 - Because you want a Porche, BMW and a Merc
 - Because you want a Villa in Spain and a duplex in Vegas
 - Because you want a maid, a chauffeur and a personal trainer
 - Because you think you know that all this will make you happy
 - Because you know you want people to look to you and treat you well
 - Because the world you were born into tell you this is how to think

And then, sanity hits you smack in the heart, and you realise, that you are not alone in this world and that you should be doing more to help others ...  but frankly you dont know how to do that either.  You dont know how to make yourself a millionaire and you dont know how to benefit society.  Here comes the depression.  So what to do???

Your problem is huge.  But at least you are now aware.  This is your awakening.  Now you know who you are , what is what ... and that my friend is a start.  Now you learn. Now you are born.
It's not just about possession, or giving to the needy... no not at all.  It's about YOU!  Learning to understand YOU. When you know what you are, who you are and what you really want to do in life.  Then you are at the start, a new beginning of your good life - your path to happiness.

It is only when you are aware, that you can be happy.  And when you are truly happy, you become, naturally truly lucky ...  that's the secret.
Do not measure, your happiness in dollars and cents, measure it in smiles and laughter.  You will be surprised, pleasantly surprised.

You are special, know that, love that.  And you are loved.  And that should be enough for you and me.
Have a great life

Sunday, May 29, 2011

What keeps me smiling ;-)

  • Kristen Danielle likes this.

    • Kristen Danielle Thanks Mrs Amal. Most of it came from the knowledge you gave to me during FMS. Though i haven't master the art, but at least you taught me the important bits of it. Thank you for being a great teacher and an inspiration. :)
      about an hour ago · 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

What's Left? at Fifty?


what's left? at Fifty?

You think you've done the right thing all these years for you, for him, for your children.  Taking care to make him look in the eyes of his children.  Ensuring he does the right thing by his kids.  You want your child to have the love of a father, you want him to be close to his off spring.  So build on their relationship, because you love them both.  And you don't know what the future holds, if something happens to me, at least my child will have her/his dad.  Afteral, the future is uncertain.
So you work it.  Keep them together, knitting them close, nurturing all the time.

Then one day, you wake up to find you're old.  You have reached that first marker of old age, the big 50.  And suddenly, everything seems just that little bit different, you actually saw it coming a few years earlier, but you refused to attention it, you thought of it as minor and that it will not be an issue, afteral you spent years of your life on this marriage.  No one is going to throw your efforts out so carelessly.

Are they?  The doubts gently niggle at you, eating away at your self-esteem, at your abilities, at your faith in the one you love.
These doubts make you look in the mirror more often, making you examine your body more, making you question your whole life and the way you chose to live it.
Have you made a mistake?  have you misjudged? Have you been too trusting?  Have you been too reliant on that one certain person more than you should have?  

You begin to fear for yourself.  It is a genuine fear.  It scares you right to the pit of your stomach.  Questioning your decisions, your moves, questioning, thinking, constantly confusing yourself more and more.  You find it harder to breathe with all this self-doubt, your head hurts so much and it gets worst everyday.
All this happening that is in your mind, all  the time, all by yourself.  You become more observant of what is going on around you, particularly observing him, how he's treating you, how he is with you as against his behaviour with other people.  And you start to worry even more because what you see is ugly.  

As the days go by, one at a time, you begin to feel less and less attractive. And you don't even want to feel attractive anymore.  Do I want to look good for me or for him? Questions, questions, questions.

You try to spend time, building up your own ego, to make yourself feel better, afterall, you have read everything there is on positive thinking, the power of thoughts and the magic of the mind. of course you can make yourself feel good about yourself, and you certainly don't need anyone else to make you feel good about yourself.  Fight fight fight.  Fight with yourself.  

The illusion of growing old together happily, has now melted, like dirty, day old snow, cowering, black and grungy on the lower crease of the lane, hiding by the curb.   That's growing old together.  it's not what you had in mind, but that's what it has become.  Luke warm, full of dirty contempt, soiled from the dirt collected over the years as you moved to one side of the lane, to allow fresh snow to fall.  

You always thought yours was a more solid relationship based on love, respect and good healthy egos.   Reality is that the sun is hiding behind the clouds, but you always pretended it was sunny just because it wasn't raining.   And you had to wait to lose some years to realise this. 
It's not sad, it's laughable. its hysterical.  How do I prepare my child for this awakening that comes to us at some point in our lives.   Then I think, that maybe her reality will not be the same as mine, after all, she is a different person.  
She does not suffer self-delusion that her parents suffer from.

Could I have done things differently?  Could I have been a better person?  Could I have managed my life better?  Could I?  or Was it you?  Maybe it isn't always me!  But maybe its my fault, after all, I said yes to you.  

Is this my lot in life?  Is this my faith?  Am I, was I so desperate, so afraid of being alone?  

Now, I look at my unmarried and divorced friends, and think of them as being lucky.  No more do I feel sorry for them.  They respect themselves and love themselves better than I do. They chose to do something about their lives.  Well done ladies.

Here I stand;  I'm 50, I am angry, not content, not at peace, just angry.  Plain and simple anger, it doesn't rage like a storm inside me, no more, it's not passionate.  The anger I feel is tediously muddy and sluggish, like me, swirling in slow motion, getting murkier, getting more dense with time.  I can't release it out anymore.  It can no longer be dispelled as in the past, it is no longer that a hot fiery dusty tornado churning in me.  The raging tornado can't be expelled in  a wild outblast from my lips anymore.  Time has caused it to transform.  And that actually frightens me.  When did this happen?  Shouting off my mouth has become such an effort.  Instead, my new weapon of  choice is Silence.  Silently, accounting it all in my heart.  I have become a fastidious accountant, careful and recording every minute detail, so as in the event of auditing, little is left to chance and everything can be explained.  To what end, I don't know.  All I know is that It is easier than releasing the tornado within, less destruction, less effort.  
No passion.  

Turning 50, makes you physically and emotionally tired.  Fifty is the time, to release the unworkable elements in your life, time to spring clean, to get rid of that which you have no use for any more.  To give away those elements that don't work, never have worked, but which you hung on to, for sentimental reasons, or didn't have the heart to throw out in the past.  Getting to fifty, makes you wonder, why you did certain things the way you did.   Optimism, is not as energised at fifty as when you were thirty or forty.  Its not that you are no longer optimistic, its just that your optimism is more grounded and leveled.  Your optimism is no longer marked with confetti and pyrotechnics.  There is no festive blast at the end of it.  

I have done a review of my first year of being in my fifties and now I have decided to spring clean and live in peace, to live for me.  He can take his dirty laundry, his bottle of cheap scotch,  and his bags out and find his own peace.  My life is going to be for me now.  Henceforth, I plan to value me above all others.  
My old age ideal is :  To sit under the shade of  a lush tree, eating a juicy plum, and not worry that it has dribbled down my hands, my chin and stained my top.  To smile at the hot gleaming sun as it burns my dry wrinkled skin.  To read my poetry in the quiet of evening.  To play my loud rock music till my head hurts.  To dance like a silly old hag and laugh at myself in the mirror.  To have a drink with friends and not care that I don't get up in the morning.  To work for 24 hours a day if I so wish, because I feel inspired.  To turn down the television volume so as I can think.  To sleep the sleep of the dead and not worry about you waking in the night.  To lay in my bed all day and not feel a pang of guilt.  To eat what I want.  To watch my ridiculous tv programmes and relish every moment.  To go shopping and not be rushed.  To go for a walk, alone.  To play on the computer for hours on end, and not feel that I have neglected you.  To do things in my own time, not be rushed around like a headless chicken.   To appreciate what I want to appreciate at anytime and love it.  To sit at a coffee shop drinking coffee for hours on end if I want to.  To go window shopping, just because I want to, for no reason what so ever.  To Not worry if you would like doing what I want to do.  To pay someone else for doing those jobs that you pooh pahhed and postponed.  To not worry that you are bored and to have to think of something for you to do.  To worry that you are feeling 'useless' and have to come up with ways to make you feel better about yourself.   To not listen to your self pitying claims when you're drunk, that make me feel guilty.  To stop you from making me so guilty about you and your life.  I don,t want the burden of you anymore.  I need to stop feeling bad about you not having a job; afterall, it was your choice not to work, to go into semi retirement.  I don't want to be the bread winner in this family; a breadwinner who is not respected or appreciated at all. 
I want to sing off key, so loudly to my favourite songs and not have you tell me to stop, or to look at me funny. 

Ahhhh, I should have never married.  

Friday, April 22, 2011


Who reads poetry nowadays? Who cares about it?
It's only people like me who write the stuff and on occassion read it ... my own I mean. I rather read other people's writings than my own. Once I've spewed all the verbatim on the screen, that's it, I'm done. A little like when you've gone to the toilet ... flush, wash your hands and get out. Relief.  Yup, poetry for me is like that. There is always this strong urge to regurgitate. It's the only release I have to be rid of my feelings.
Then only can I move on to something else.

I tried to sing when I was younger, realised, I was blessed with a low pitch voice that could not stretch to anywhere... and how upset I was that I could not sound like David Cassidy or as melodically moody as Carol king.  I tried to sing but people inevitably asked me to just hum... hum... hum... even when I was 9 and sat in the makeshift tree house, with my friends; my then "boyfriend" told me I was no nightingale.
And then there was a lovely handsome guy heart throb who told me, "you're cute but you haven't got a voice", my mouth shut and my heart fell on hearing him utter such harsh criticism.
Not long after, my mother, in a moment of inspiration perhaps, decided to buy us musical instruments.  Ukuleles, all three of us, myself and two siblings, got a ukulele each.  What possessed anyone to buy such an instrument for children less than 10 years of age. We were not given lessons, just ukuleles.  You can well imagine, a 10 year old, an eight year old and a seven year old, playing completely out of tune on the miniature "guitars".
Yes, we thought we could use them like  Carlos Santana or even Jimi Hendrix.
No, the ukuleles did not last long, before the strings broke, in fact, the whole instrument got smashed in wild moments mimicking Jimi Hendrix.
Oh, We did have our mellow moments, when we tried to "play" melodic "Japanese" tunes.   And then only to have both the gardener and driver bang away at our bedroom window, asking us not too politely, to stop the racket.
It got worse, when I decided to "sing" like a "Japanese" opera singer, my grandmother scolded my mother for encouraging the children to be disruptive (the word she used was : nuisance).
"Children should not be heard, not like that!!" grandmother scolded, "Send your children to bed for goodness sake," and this was at 4 pm in the afternoon.  Yes, grandma, we got the hint.

It was then that I had a revelation, if I can't sing, not in English or even Japanese opera, then perhaps I ought to try writing song lyrics.   Aha!! What a eureka moment that was for me.... yee haaaa
But sadly, I couldn't put any tunes to the words I came up with, or rather I couldn't get any more than one bar.  So, I gave up soon after.  And what do you think was left?  Can't sing, can't write lyrics, now what??
I love words but too lazy to write stories.  Starting was always easy but the carrying on was a hazard to the story, I would bore myself silly after a while and just didn't bother.

I sighed alot then. Loved words but how do I create with words, what can I create with words.
Till one Saturday afternoon, I was invited to "poetry club" at primary school.... what fun that was.   I could write, short lines (I like short!) and all I needed to do was to make them rhyme and add some rhythm... hey, I can do that.  And I didn't need to put a tune to it.  At last, a release for my words.   There begins my adventure into the literary world of poetry.

In conclusion, I'm a frustrated singer/song writer, who had to resort to poetry to give relief to her emotional diarrhea.


You never know...

You go through life, at times, not sure if you had any impact on anyone. Or what you were doing meant anything.  You wonder if it was pointless or meaningful.  And you do not always know as no one actually acknowledges you properly.  There are usually meagre efforts and you believe people say "nice" things just to be polite and don't really take notice.
Then out of the blue, one day, someone you did not expect, sends you a message, that makes you want to cry with joy. You feel a deep sense of satisfaction and grateful for life, and start to value your own efforts again.
To this person, who kindly said those wonderful words to me, I say thank you very much.  
Thank you for making me have faith in human nature again and for letting me know that what I had always aimed for has had an impact on you and others.  

Here is a part of the message, she sent to me that gave me so much joy:

Miss FMS a lot. The only thing me and Bhell talk about is FMS. I think, in my own view, you've given birth (in a creative way of speaking) to two most inspiring and successful Sabahan ladies; Bhell and Calista. I know they've work so hard for their success but you've polished them well, just like all the other FMS girls. On their behalf, i would like to thank you for that. For everything, Mrs Amal. I do hope life would always take good care of you and your family. :)

We all need that little booster once in a while from people whose lives we have touched.  Remember to say thank you or just whisper a few words of acknowledgment, no matter how small their contribution.  This makes you and the other person extremely happy.  It costs nothing to acknowledge a person ... mere words... how hard is it for us to say nice things.  Nothing.  But worth a fortune.

Sarcasm and criticism is not necessary; especially if its in the past. Learn to forgive and forget.  Unless, you were emotionally and physically tortured, learn to let go of things, a little a time.  I try to tell myself this as much as possible, albeit, its not an easy thing to do.  
Dwelling on a teacher who was harsh when you were a student, seems to be a minor thing, once you've matured doesnt it.  Telling an old school mate, that you thought she was too stern when she was at school, seems petty, when you are older and have lived separate lives.
Being sarcastic to someone who's just cooked you a meal, makes you a selfish and ungrateful person.  
What does it cost to say thank you??
Make yourself happy, by being grateful.  It does not make you any less of a person to show gratitude and appreciate.
Of course, you have to be honest, but if you can't be honest and nice, then refrain and hold your tongue.  Don't go out of your way to hurt another.  You are then, the petty one! Shame on you.

Just as you would like others to appreciate your talents, nature and character, so would others.  Be the first to show appreciation, then watch how much others respond in kind.  It's priceless.  Its a happiness generator. It makes for a lovelier life. ;-)

Have a super day!! Remember, you are a nice person too.  My sunshine to you.
And a warm hug to my students who remember me so nicely.  I will always want to do more for you, all you need to do is ask.  And thank you for making my day.  ;-)

Facing up to security issues on Facebook

Facing up to security issues on Facebook

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I'm back but for how long?????? ..... the mind is clinging, though barely, but the spirit furiously tearing the chains of hell, ...
the bones are weakening, and the flesh is rotting.
The heart is beating in time to underground blasts; bursting cells with each explosion.
Breathing in the hot lava bursts.

Tears of blood stream down tearing tender flesh.
Deep inside, the spirit is fighting for it knows instinctively escape is looming closer ...

where is the strength? to escape?
Emotion has ebbed so low
fighting but no where to go

the warrior fights bravely though pointlessly
The fight is over, but the spirit is not in synch
It pushes the warrior harder

Eyes no longer seeing
Arm ripped away from sockets
Legs hacked from the knee
but the warrior stands still and unmoving
for his unseen spirit is still alive
trying to escape

No one sees the warrior
No one will remember the warrior
he is but one of many

All he has is pain
All he has is warm blood
all he has is his spirit

Bleed warrior Bleed

He is you and he is me

The Lost Ant in Calista's Hair

It's dark ... no it's black,  utterly and totally black.  No sunlight can penetrate the thick shafts of protein. And every shaft is tightly packed to the other ... the poor little ant cannot manouvre at all.  He struggles as he climbs the gargantuan black shaft, his muscles ache as he heaves his tiny body.
Ants are supposed to be able to carry 10 times their own body weight but he doesnt quite believe he can even move his own body any further let alone carry one of those massive shafts.

He's been stuck in this black dense jungle for 2 weeks now and cant see a way out.  The poor little creature feels doomed. Occassionally, it pours with rain but it hasnt helped him to flush out.  He tried to hang on to a lose shaft once, but it didnt budge; it kept getting blocked by other shafts.
"Oh woe is me!" he cried.  He cried often at his predicament.  Every night, well, he could not tell if it was night; basicly he just slept when he got tired, as he didnt see any light at all.
Poor poor little fellow.

At other times, he tried to climb up on the fork lift thing that appeared through the mass of shafts but without success, the fork lift thing would lift out before he could ever get to it ... he just could not climb over the enormous shafts that lay in his way.
There were so many of them, and so tightly packed together too... oh woe is me!! 

The little ant has now retired him to a slow death, as he lay on Calista's hair... the thick jungle mass of her hair ... 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

SINGAPORE - the smouldering pot!!

At 5pm in the evening, on a week day, coming up to Chinese New Year.  You're (me really) in a mild mood ... content ...and still have errands to run. So off you go, unsuspecting and innocent...  or should I say oblivious to the "world" around you.
Tra la la la la ... ah here's a taxi ... smiling at the driver I tell him where to take me.
"huh! waht ah! you go there now for what??" he barks at him, like a rottweiler who has just been snubbed by a bitch.
"Why ahh friend? Is the traffic bad? Never mind lah ... I pay you anyway. But I need to go there lah", I meekly reply, not wanting to upset this fellow or to spoil my evening.  Really, what's the point of arguing with a taxi driver for goodness sake. I reckoned he's just probably had a bad day; and I'm not going to add to it.

"Waaah! You don know hahh, Chinese New Year kamming (** this is not a spelling error) ahhh,  so mannny karrs, manny manny peple orrr... haiii yaaa.... so troublesome oorrh."  he starts ranting off, " where, aaaaa,  in Chinatown you go where  aaaa ... north brigge load or sout brigge load side ... nikol highway or cte or ecp or what aaaaa!!"
I sat quietly in the back and thanked God that I always sat in the back . Today, I definately felt safer in the back.

He went on with his monologue, I guess, he just wanted to moan about something, and I must have looked harmless enough,  and not lunatic enough to shout back at him and that's probably why he kept going on.
"Cann nott lah, go cte now, sure busy one!  Aiyahhhhh.... I go ecp lah ... traffic bad now lah... how you want to go there haaah.  You want or not. You want I take you go ecp lah. wan or not? huh?"
Frankly, I didnt know if this was a choice or a recommendation or a simple question... I pondered for a short moment, just to make sure he had nothing else to add, then I quickly put in my twopenneth: "whichever way you want to go my friend, all osso no problem lah. Whatever makes you happy, I dont mind lorrr"
"Ok lah, I go nickol highway, you want" he sighs at me and looks at me in a funny way through his rear view mirror, as if he's tired of me or something.  If you didn't know better, you would have thought we'd been married for 30 years and that I was his nagging wife.... **shaking my head in complete bafflment**
"ok ok you go nichol highway" I confirmed trying not to show emotion.   Usually enjoy talking to taxi drivers, they are a very informative bunch of people, full of opinions and views and they know all the latest news. I get most of the daily news from taxi drivers, with an aside too. To most of my foreign friends I sing the praises of Singapore taxi drivers : "they're the best in the world I tell you".   Seriously, I do like Singapore taxi drivers, however, every once in a while one like this one pops up out of the blue and it really takes you off guard.  

The rest of my shopping trip goes off well, no hiccups, as such but for one thing.  This is the thing that upsets me the most, and has a tendency to make me want to retaliate, though I do practise a lot of self control.
What is it? you ask. It's rudeness and disregard for others.

As much as 80% of young Singaporeans are downright RUDE!! Some older folk too, are rude, about 65% of them. Their rudeness shows in crowded spaces and crowded malls, especially amongst the young.  They walk around with invincible blindfolds, and on top of that, they're usually talking to their mates, or are on the phone or listening to ipods or whatever, and thus are on another level altogether.  No spatial awareness what so ever!  They are quite happy to walk right into you and not bother to apologise.  They don't give way, let alone notice you coming unless you are 1cm away from their noses; then they look surprised, as if to say : how did you get on my planet.
I have been to Tokyo, New York, London, Paris and Mumbai and no one!  I repeat NO ONE!! bumps into you absentmindedly. And if they do by chance, they usually apologise profusely.  They seem to be able to skirt around you and respect your personal space.

Let me give you just a tiny taster of what happened at one of the lovely shops in Chinatown today.  I was standing in front of a display of shelves inside the shop, engrossed in my own thoughts and trying to make a choice, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a young man and a young lady coming. They headed straight in front of me, well the young lady did, and her young man decided to stand right next to me.  My personal space was invaded, yes, but that's not the issue. The young lady was standing  in front of me for goodness sake!! No word of excuse me  or pardon from her, NOT even a nod of acknowledgement.   What would you do ??  huh??

"Excuse me, would you like to stand there please, then we can both look at the products" I said firmly.  Without so much as a by your leave, let alone a look. No! Nothing from her. No reaction.  She did not look at me or say anything, she just moved to the side, goes in front of her boyfriend instead, this time and went on talking away in Chinese. The silly boyfriend gets blocked now.
"Thank you" I venomously say to her... still she ignores me ... I may as well be invincible.  Never mind, I think to myself, just get on with it and make your choices and to hell with her. The ignoramus moo!
Yes, yes, I can be very patient. I know.

That was incident 2.  Ah my day is not over yet friends, there's one more yet.  Once I had done all the buying at Chinatown, I headed for another shopping centre, I needed other things too.  So I saunter off with what seemed like a hundred large and heavy bags.
Finally, I'm lucky enough to get another taxi. He was probably the brother of the first taxi driver.  When I got in and told him where I wanted to go, but he just sat there, not budging.  I thought he was going to turf me out; or maybe he was a plastic dummy.   What???? is going on today.... they're all so grumpy and weird ... is it because its Chinese New Year?? Does Chinese New Year have that kind of effect on people??  Why isn't everyone happy and feeling celebrative???    Why so stressy???
Most people will go on holiday soon and that should be a comforting thought shouldn't it?
"Traffic bad! you know!" he vomited the words at me ...
"Yes,  I know" I reply, being cautious but somewhat slightly irked by now.
"You go by nichol highway ok" I reply quickly "and be careful, got police car behind you" I said to him, as I had noticed a police car pull up behind us, feeling assured now.  I guess I was trying to 'warn' him .... hee hee...

As we drove off he started grumbling "see lah, so many cars, Chinese New Year always headache! All roads busy, cannot move" as the taxi moved easily round the traffic.  I was bemused, but kept my mouth shut and looked out the window. The view was beginning to look more interesting.
"I drop you off that place, sure I don't get customers, this time, ah, always no people at that taxi stand. No business there at this time you know" he kept on moaning and complaining.
"How to make living like this, ERP charge lah, dont know what lah, some more no customers, cannot tahan lah" he was probably talking to himself now ... certainly didnt look like he was wanting a discussion or a conversation with me.
So, I  kept looking out the window, and enjoying the ride in my head .... zzzzzzzzz
"SEEE LAH YOU!!" the yell jolted me out of my power nap ... blast it! I thought.
"Eh, my friend, I'm trying to rest lah" I cautioned him.
"you see that fellow, wan to turn right, never indicate, any old how one!!" he went off in a tangent again ....
and I nodded off yet again, really not caring about what he had to say now.

After what seemed like a lifetime or two, we finally got to my destination; the taxi stand was nearly a mile long with people queuing for taxis.
"Look my friend, you sure got customer now" I said to him, out of spite really.
"Yah lah but later, I drop off dont know where and then cannot find another customer. Always like that one" he found another excuse to moan about ... you know there's just no pleasing some people. He's the eternal pessimist.
Pay him quick and get outta there!

Went to my destination shop, found what I wanted and then some. An hour later. I'm exhausted and ready for going home, when it occurred to me that I was hungry. Really hungry.  Gotta eat.  Gotta eat Now! type of hunger.

As I was making my way towards the taxi stand and trying to decide what I could eat, I saw  a Subway.... mmmmm a nice sandwich ... yes, what a brilliant idea.  I want one.  As I glanced in, I noticed there was only one person in the queue.  Wooo hooo!!!  I'm in there fast ... hunger, you see, it needs attending to .

I waited patiently while the only one staff served the customer in front of me.  In the meantime, I stood patiently looking  at the menu board and dribbling.  Did I tell you I was hungry.... mmmm ... hungry.  It must have taken all of  7 minutes to serve the first customer, then the staff goes and answers the phone ... what!!  I felt like crying ... hungry ....
ok, stay calm, its ok... patience is a virtue... I persuade myself.  Another 2 minutes go by, and there's a  queue behind me and it is getting longer.  That's ok I'm next anyway, so hey, patience comes easy when you're next in line right.

A little chinese girl (from China) comes in from the back of the restaurant, goes straight to the customer behind me, says something to him in Chinese and proceeds to serve him, while i look on,  in absolute shock.
HELLO!!  Am I invincible? I'm 5ft 3in, as tall as the guy next to me and twice his size... how can you miss me???Dont you serve women who are not chinese looking?? Or is it because I'm older?? Maybe you don't serve older people??
Is this sexism, ageism, racialism or has it got something to do with my looks????   Am I too ugly for her???    Do I look too fat maybe???  Maybe she thinks I'm too fat and don't need to eat anything.  What???  I'm not short so there was no excuse to say she couldn't see me... I was at the top of the queue for god's sake.  I begin to hop, hop hop, hop, hop ... slowly I simmer, and my face begins to distort... now I'm becoming ugly.
Or maybe she fancied the young man behind me and that's why she went straight for him and ignored me.

As for the young man behind me was no better either. He quite  happily gave her his order; bear in mind, he knows I hadn't been served because the other only staff member was on the phone and he did see that I hadn't been served.
Why couldn't this English speaking young man, acknowledge that it was my turn not his  and correct the "waitress" and tell her to serve me first??  Why didn't he do the 'well brought up' thing??  Why didn't he show some manners?? Bring back the courtesy campaign!!!  Why didn't he show some self respect???  He could see that I was, ahead of him in the queue, for one thing, and for another, I was the "older" lady (*I have white hair to prove it).???????????????????????  show some bloody respect to your elders, you little chi chak!

To that young man, I have one thing to say: "I want to talk to your mother! Is she so busy working she forgot to teach you manners and respect!"

Frankly, at first, I was stunned, too numb to utter words. Seriously, flabbergasted.  And that's not one of my characteristic features ... oh no.   Just then, the other staff member, put the phone down and looked at me, then at his colleague and he asked her if I had been served; she replied with a nonchalant "huh? don know" - followed by a stupid expression, you know the one I mean, with the lips slightly apart, chin dropped, and eyes drooped... like a wrinkly bulldog, except that she was only in her 20s. You've seen that stupido look before. You know what I mean.
So, he looks at me and says: "Can I take your order ma'am"
"YES you can!  And it should have been me being served first.  THAT! **I point at the girl** That thing blatantly ignored me and served the person behind me first! What is this? How rude is she?" I bellowed at them both. People on the fifth floor must have heard that thunderous voice of rage.  Don't mess with a hungry woman with white hair.
"I'm sorry" the little teeny staff guy whimpers from behind the counter... hmmmm he seems to have shrunk ...
Meanwhile the female who dared to ignore me, was pretending that she wasn't there... but I can see her ... and I glare hard at her .... my eyes chucking sharp daggers through my now slit eyes ... you're not invincible to me girly. Hah!
That fellow who was behind, dared to turn to me and even ventured a meagre excuse for a smile ... it appeared to be an apology.  TOO LATE!! I gave him my best "dirty" look, and watched him cower.  Suddenly there was a gap between me and the queue.... mmmmmm.... do you think I scared them a bit ... hmmmmmm

Yes, I did get my sandwich. For every question, the male staff guy asked I would bark back my order, "Yes!", "more jalepenos", "NO Sauce!" ...  I was on a rampage in my own way....  I think they couldn't wait to get me out of the shop.
"GRRRRR!!Woorrf! Grrrrr!  Woorf!"

Now, 3 hours later, I feel calmer, I'm fed and watered and rested.  And I'm in hysterics about it all. hahahhahahhaahahah!!!!   It's rather funny really.  What an evening eh.  I'll bet a few people will have a restless night tonight ... hee hee ;-)

Hope you enjoyed your day, as much as I didn't mine ....  ;-) cheerio and here's hoping you get better service than this.
And remember a little courtesy goes a long way.... good night ;-)